Better Than I Know Myself
by GleekCow13
Summary: Using Adam Lambert's new single Better Than I Know Myself. A big fight happened between Kurt and Blaine because of an old high school friend. What happened on the night when this all went down? How many doubts are running through each others heads?


**AN: I know I should be updating my other two stories, but when I heard this song three days ago I knew I had to write something for it. You can find the song on YouTube, so if you wanted to listen to it, it is called Better Than I Know Myself, by the magnificent singer Adam Lambert! I really hope you enjoy this song prompt. Please stop by and leave a review afterward. Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters. Nor do I own Adam Lambert's new single that comes out tomorrow. But, I can dream can't I?**

Better Than I Know Myself

**Cold as ice  
>And more bitter than a December<br>Winter Night  
>That's how I treated you<strong>

Kurt laid on Rachael's couch. Holding back tears, and knowing he destroyed everything with Blaine. His stupid, insecurities getting in the way of everything. He tries to deny that it wasn't his fault. It was Blaine's fault for staying in contact with Sebastian all of these years, even though Blaine knew he was trying to steal him away from Kurt, and get in his pants. It was both of their faults. But, Kurt didn't admit it when he had the chance. He didn't stay and listen to Blaine. He stopped trusting Blaine for only a few seconds. And that's what made it fall apart.

**And I know that I,  
>I sometimes tend to lose my temper<br>And I cross the line  
>Yeah, that's the truth<strong>

He knew that he wouldn't be able to go back there tomorrow. He felt stupid and embarrassed. Blaine probably thought he didn't love him anymore. He lost his temper, his bitchy side came out. His insecure side came out. And once it's out, there's really nothing he can do to control it. And, this time it took everything in its path...and destroyed it.

**I know it gets hard sometimes  
>But I could never<br>Leave your side  
>No matter what I say<strong>

Kurt would do anything he could to be forgiven. But, he knew it wasn't that easy. Even though his mind stopped trusting Blaine...it didn't mean his heart did.

**Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now  
>But, I really need you near me to<br>Keep my mind off the edge  
>If I wanted to leave, I would have left by now<br>But you're the only one that knows me  
>Better than I know myself<strong>

He didn't leave Blaine. He never could. Blaine is the one who helps him function and he never once doubted him or his decisions. And, know he probably lost Blaine forever.

**All along  
>I tried to pretend it didn't matter<br>If I was alone  
>But deep down I know<br>If you were gone  
>For even a day I wouldn't know which way to turn<br>Cause I'm lost without you**

Blaine still sat in the same exact spot from two hours ago. He kept his eyes locked to the door, wishing it would open and reveal his beautiful boyfriend. Kurt could be laying in his arms if it wasn't for his fucking heart. He can't let someone just slip away. He had to keep in touch with everyone, even Sebastian. He knew Sebastian wanted him, but refused to actually accept it until he started continuously flirting. Until he took it too far.

**I know it gets hard sometimes  
>But I could never<br>Leave your side  
>No matter what I say<strong>

He knows Kurt didn't mean anything he said. It was all out of anger. But, that didn't mean it hurt any less. Blaine knew Kurt still loved him.  
>"I hate you Blaine! You promised me you wouldn't talk to him anymore. And what do you do? You flirt with him. I've told you a million times that he wants you! He will do anything he can to get me out of the picture. And you go and lead him on! Except, I stopped believing that you're just joking around anymore. I know you don't love me anymore! So, just leave me already like I know you want to and go be with him!" Then, he shoved on his jacket, took his car keys, and walked out the door.<p>

**Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now  
>But I really need you near me<br>Keep my mind off the edge  
>If I wanted to leave I would have left by now,<br>But you're the only one that knows me  
>Better than I know myself<strong>

Kurt walking out the door symbolized more than just leaving a room. It symbolized a relationship broken. Two people that are now lost and might not be able to find their ways back to each other. It also symbolized no trust between two people. And if there is no trust, there is really no way to fix it...

**I get kind of dark  
>Let it go too far<br>I can get obnoxious at times  
>But try and see my heart<strong>

Kurt kept tossing and turning where he laid. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep until he fixed this somehow. But, was there really anyway to fix this?

**Cause I need you now  
>So don't let me down<br>You're the only thing in this world I would die without**

Kurt used to think he had his whole life planned out. He thought someday soon, they would be engaged. Ready to spend the rest of their lives together. But, because Kurt walked through that door, he shattered dreams. There's always the possibility to rebuild the walls, but, Blaine had to be willing to give up a friendship. And, Kurt doubted he would because after a bad break up you could always turn to your friends for guidance, and love.

**Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now  
>But I really need you near me to<br>Keep my mind off the edge  
>If I wanted to leave I would have left by now<br>But you're the only one that knows me  
>Better than I know myself<strong>

Blaine knew he wasn't coming back. He screwed up big time. He could already feel the sadness, and the depression already start to sink in. If he could turn back the clock to only a few hours ago, he would do it in a heartbeat. But, he knows he can't. So, instead he will just cherish all of the moments he's had with Kurt. And hopefully someday soon, he will come back. He needs Kurt in his life, because he knows Blaine better than he knows himself.

**Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now  
>But I really need you near me to<br>Keep my mind of the edge  
>If I wanted to leave I would have left by now<br>But you're the only one that knows me  
>Better than I know myself<br>**

**AN: I hope you enjoyed this little story, song prompt. You should definitely check out Adam Lambert's new single Better Than I Know Myself which comes out tomorrow. I will be updating A Missing Piece of You and Kurt's Song later this week. I will have them up no later than Christmas Eve: December 24. Thanks for reading! **


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